Thabo Sefolosha shows why 'sticking to sports' isn't a viable option

Three years ago, LeBron James and his teammates paid tribute to slain teenager Trayvon Martin. The decision drew praise from many and scorn from others. Stick to sports, they said. A year ago, in the wake of the killing of Mike Brown by a police officer in Ferguson, five St. Louis Rams made the "hands up, don't shoot" gesture while entering the field. The decision drew praise from many and scorn from others, including St. Louis' police union. Stick to sports, they said. Ten months ago, in the wake of a grand jury declining to indict a New York City cop who choked Eric Garner to death for selling loosies, Derrick Rose wore a t-shirt that read "I can't breathe," a nod to Garner's tragic final words. The decision drew praise from many and scorn from others. Stick to sports, they said.

Last April, Thabo Sefolosha of the Atlanta Hawks got his leg broken by a New York City cop for no good reason. Thabo Sefolosha didn't have the option of sticking to sports, did he?

After breaking Sefolosha's leg, authorities pursued obstruction charges. The case against Sefolosha was comically weak. Reports suggest prosecutors offered him a plea deal which would commit the player to a day of community service and result in charges being dropped so long as Sefolosha (who had no record whatsoever) didn't get in trouble in the next six months. He declined the deal. Later, prosecutors came back with a better offer: no community service, charges will be dropped in six months if Sefolosha's (clean) record remained clean. He declined that deal, as well. On Friday, a jury of Sefolosha's peers completely and quickly exonerated the player.

Thabo was lucky. He had the money to hire a good lawyer. He had a boss, Hawks coach Mike Budenholzer, willing to testify in support of him. He's represented by a union that went to bat for him, both in ensuring he'd get a paycheck despite his injury and in ensuring he had what he needed as the case went to trial. Thabo was lucky in that he's a professional basketball player and not someone without the resources to defend himself in court.

Thabo was also lucky that the cop Thabo faced didn't put him in a fatal chokehold or unload a handgun into him. Being a pro basketball player didn't save him from those fates, because as Thabo learned all too well, being a pro basketball player won't save you from an overzealous police offer intent on misusing his badge and his authority. This could have been much worse. For others, it has been much worse.

This is why LeBron and Rose speak up when injustice and death befalls other Americans: because they know it could just as well have been them. It's not about cops, either: both LeBron and Rose and countless other pro athletes (black and white) have been vocal about social issues that affect our communities because they know it could all happen to them. Rose has donated millions toward programs intent on stemming the bloodshed caused by gun violence in Chicago. LeBron recently spoke out in support of gun control measures after a series of tragedies in Cleveland.

John Wall and other NBA stars have offered their public support and cash for similar efforts far beyond the narrow concern of police violence. In many cases, they do these things because they see themselves in the people they are helping. LeBron, Rose and Wall remember what it was like to grow up in neighborhoods without hope, and they understand the power their examples and their resources hold. That's why they don't stick to sports.

Thabo Sefolosha may have never intended to defend the free speech of pro athletes when he set out to exonerate himself, but he didn't skirt those responsibilities either.

"It's troubling to me that with so much evidence in my support that this case would even be brought to trial and that I had to defend myself so hard to get justice," he said in a statement. "It pains me to think about all of the innocent people who aren't fortunate enough to have the resources, visibility and access to quality legal counsel that I have had.

Sefolosha didn't stick to sports. By standing up for himself, he held strong for others. Social activism should never require justification.

This article originally appeared on SB Nation written by Tom Ziller.  Follow him on Twitter @teamziller

"He looks like a terrorist for f*cks sake!"

"Justice" (Photo: Mohammed Affan/NBC News)

The look on his face says it all.

The absurd thing is that this isn't the first time Ahmed was accused of being a terrorist.In an interview with MSNBC's Chris Hayes, Ahmed says he's been called a "terrorist" and a "bomb maker" since middle school.  For anyone that's ever been "the only one" in their school, community, or job, this sounds depressingly familiar.  Ironically, the mentality that led to his arrest, designed to protect students, does the exact opposite.  Most of us reject extremist propaganda.  Why?  Because most of us live pretty decent lives and the message simply doesn't resonate.  By all accounts, Ahmed and his family are peaceful.  Other than Ahmed's extraordinary talent for building things, they're just like any other American family looking for a great education for their kid.  They're living the American dream far away from an oppressive Sudanese regime.  Why would he care about some radical imam thousands of miles away chanting "Death to America" if his belly is full,  he has clothes on his back, and there's a roof over his head? From his perspective, even though he shares their religion, giving them what they want would really kill Friday night.

Pretty sure this looks as crazy to them as the KKK does to us.

Imagine you're in his shoes.  All you care about is building cool things and if that cute girl that sits behind you would be impressed enough to go out with you.  The other kids at school call you names like, "terrorist" and "bomb maker" but you can handle it.  They're dumb and jealous they can't do what  you can so you don't pay them much attention.  You know there's a future without them.  Then, you decide to bring what you think is a cool project for your engineering class.  Though impressed, the teacher cautions, "I would advise you not to show it to any other teachers."  Of course you think this is strange but you comply.  You don't show anyone but the clock ends up outing you by beeping in English class.  You desperately try to explain to your English teacher, someone you're sure is a reasonable adult, that it's not what she thinks it is.  You fail.  Then you're dragged out of class into a room with 6 more adults.  One is the principal.  The other 5 are cops.  Now, they press the issue, refusing to allow you to call your parents and pushing you to say it's a bomb.  Eventually, they slap the cuffs on you like you're on your way to Guantanamo and there's nothing you can do about it. Suddenly America doesn't seem like such a great place.  You went from being an inquisitive teenager to a terrorist because everyone has seen "Die Hard" too many times.  (Side note: this exactly how Hollywood warps your thinking and is yet another example of why it's not just "entertainment")  Now the rantings of a radical Imam talking about America's lies and hypocrisy don't seem so far fetched. What's happening to you is proof.  This is how radicalization starts.  Congratulations, your fear has just turned an ally into an enemy.

It's clear to me no one believed the "bomb" was real.  The English teacher took the device from him until they dragged him into an interrogation room later in the day.  They never asked the engineering teacher, the only person at the school qualified to determine the device's purpose, if it was intended to be a bomb.  They never called the bomb squad nor did they evacuate the school.  This wasn't about the "bomb" at all.  This was about the fear his origin and name inspire among people who believe that "all terrorists may aren't Muslims but all Muslims are terrorists."  A narrative, by the way, that is dangerously inaccurate.  The humiliation of being perp-walked out of school when your only real crime is that you were smart enough to build a clock sends a very clear message.

"You will never be one of us."

The More Things Change

The New York skyline as it should be.

Where does the time go?  In 2001, the world had just been introduced to the iPod, Google was 3 years away from its IPO, the full scope of Enron's shenanigans had yet to be uncovered, and Mark Zuckerberg was still just a Harvard undergrad with a chip on his shoulder.  The changes since then have come so gradually that you only notice when you stop to think about the last time you didn't need to frantically search for your cellphone just to leave the house, check e-mail, actually hand write a  letter, or use an answering machine for all your messages, or wait until you made a special trip to see how much a baby has grown.  Everyone's phone is a camera granting us so much unprecedented access into each other's lives that being private has become an active choice, not the norm and our cars are on the verge of driving us.  Some us have become parents or uncles or anties or godparents.  We've gained friends, lost friends, changed jobs, changed cities, graduated from school, started businesses, or taken any number of steps toward our personal quest for "happy."  For families of the 9/11 victims, however, time stopped that day.

"Why are we still talking about this?  It was 14 years ago isn't Bin Laden dead?"
Imagine the most painful day of your life was documented on video from every possible angle, dissected by every political pundit and military analyst for the past decade plus, used as a talking point to stoke fear in a nation during elections, and permanently memorialized in 3 states with museums and monuments.  Let's also not forget the conspiracy theorists and armchair engineers, none of whom were here that day, who swear the whole thing was faked by the government for the sole purpose of going to war for oil.  This is clearly the perfect environment for emotional healing and spiritual renewal.  They can't move on because America hasn't moved on.  In truth, America doesn't move on from things like this and never will.  The Boston Massacre was the match that sparked the American Revolution, creating the original 13 states.  Bloody Kansas pushed us into the Civil War, abolishing chattel slavery.  Pearl Harbor dragged us into the Second World War, establishing the USA as a world superpower.  Each of these tragedies fundamentally changed the country and 9/11 will be no different.  It's too soon to get as clear a historical perspective as the over three pivot points I mentioned but a few things about Post 9/11 America are clear.

• America is more aggressive about hunting down terrorists and potential terrorists, even at the cost of privacy and personal freedom
• Modern patriotism seems to have taken on a more legalistic tone.  Self-described Constitutionalists treat the document as a static, infallible set of laws rather than the living malleable document it was designed to be.
• Adherence to ideology has overtaken compassion as an admirable trait

People have lost faith in each other and have developed an even more exaggerated fear of the "other." In that respect, the terrorists achieved their goal.  Life in America isn't the same as it once was, not that its ever static from year to year, but the unity we had as a nation right after the attacks has all but dissipated.  Even our government has lost the ability to compromise.  The simplest issues turn into government shutdowns.  This day shouldn't just remind people of the lives we've lost but a little but of our own humanity as well.  Our politicians, media, opinions, and entertainment all reflect the value we hold dear and we look like xenophobic hate mongers.  A little bit of all of us died that day and it shows.  Perhaps the best way to honor the 9/11 victims and sacrifices made by our military to bring Bin Laden to justice is to get back to being what we were before before that day.  We need to get back to being the country they would recognize.

PBS| Anchor Baby Underground: An Honest Discussion

Election time can take complicated issues and reduce them to myopic talking points, biased soundbites, and irresponsible rhetoric.  Courtesy of PBS Newshour, Doris Meissner of the Migration Policy Institute and Susan Berfield of Bloomberg Businessweek discuss the two types of so-called "anchor babies", and the legality of the practice.

Stealing Blackness - The Absurdity of Identity Politics

Pastor Shaun King (Photo: DLHughley.com)

Pastor Shaun King is under attack today for allegedly lying about his race.  A few weeks ago Rachel Dolezal was outed for doing the same thing and the response has been predictable.  My identity is something I protect fiercely.  It's something that I have no choice but to be proud of lest I sink to the doldrums of despair about the ills of being a non-white male in the USA.  I don't take kindly to people pretending to be something they aren't for selfishly asinine reasons like getting a scholarship or record deal or just for shits and giggles.  So should we be outraged that yet another person is being "outed" for pretending to be black?

(Photo: Telegraph.co.uk)

Absolutely not.

Our country is full of people who blur the identity line when its convenient or obliterate it completely when no one is looking.  Americans have been stealing cultural ideas from each other since its inception.  Moreover, the standard for what makes one "Black", "White", "Asian", or "Native" isn't universally accepted.  In the Dominican Republic black is synonymous with Haitian, despite the fact that everyone on Hispaniola would be considered black by American standards.  In Brazil, my wife and I wouldn't be considered the same race.  The President, who's father, of course, is Kenyan, has been hammered by Black Americans for years for "not being black enough" yet when Bill Clinton was in office he was both lauded and criticized for being "too black", mostly stemming from his love of jazz.  Tiger Woods dislikes being considered black so much he made up a word to describe his ethnicity, despite the fact that he continues to live in a country that invented and still tends to define blackness by the one drop rule.  Gov. Piyush "Bobby" Jindal (R-LA), Gov. Nimrata Nikki Randhawa Haley(R-SC), Former Florida Rep. Allen West (R), Justice Clarence Thomas, Herman Cain, Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL) and Dr. Ben Carson are considered the poster children for selling out yet Eminem, Macklemore, Yellawolf, and Action Bronson are considered "real."  Cultural appropriation (aka cultural plagiarism), through its intentional obstruction of the origin of philosophical concepts,  musical styles, mathematics, and even health care further blur the lines about what belongs to who and for how long.  Humans have been doing this for as long as we've existed on this planet so why is it only certain instances of line stepping are greeted with so much scorn, vitriol, and derision? Probably because the line steppers aren't stealing,  they're helping.

She lied, but she's been down for 20 years. (Photo: Today.com)

The people who define these terms, black, white, asian, liberal, conservative, libertarian, etc, etc, usually have an agenda to push.  Cable TV "news" has devolved from a service to keep the American people informed to a vehicle to push partisan propaganda.  Its designed to stir up your emotions by playing on your fears of being irrelevant, marginalized, and forced into silence.  They use every trick in the political playbook to get your ratings and loyalty.  They create controversies that aren't there, to play on your biases, stoke your natural human fear of "the other", and keep feeding you what you want to hear until you're so addicted to the echo chamber that everything else, no matter how reasonable sounds like white noise.  The website (I refuse to give them publicity by mentioning their name here) that allegedly outed King is the same website that slandered former Georgia State Director of Rural Development Shirley Sherrod and community outreach NGO ACORN.  Despite the fact the website's allegations were proven false both times, neither ACORN nor Sherrod's career survived the fallout.  You can read about the trumped up scandals in depth here and here.

Racial Hierarchy in Brazil

The real question we should be asking them and of ourselves, is why does it matter?  If King is white...so what?  Are we so hung up on identity politics that we can't accept his help?  If King lied about his parentage maybe that says more about who's opinion we consider legitimate if he and Dolezal had to lie to be taken seriously?  Does a person have to be black to speak out about black injustice?  Does a person have to be poor to stand against poverty?  Charities wouldn't exist if that were the case.  A great man once said his dream was that his children would not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.  It's times like this that we're called to put that mantra to test.  This is where the rubber meets the road and we need to let people know that it doesn't matter what your background is, your actions and the fruit of your works define what you are.  Shaun and Rachel have clearly decided where their loyalties lie.  That makes them black to me.

[Update: It appears they've gone 3 for 3 in peddling libelous bullshit]

UFC 190: Beautiful Monster

Ronda Rousey is redefining how to be a star athlete. In a sport so brutal, vicious, and bloody, the fact that a woman is headlining pay-per-views as the UFC's biggest star is nothing short of amazing. She is obliterating her opponents, silencing critics, and doing it all without sacrificing her femininity. Gina Carano, MMA's previous "it" girl, faced mostly substandard competition in the now defunct Strikeforce promotion and was driven from the sport after being brutally beaten by Cris "Cyborg" Justino in 2009. No one in the history of combat sports has finished fights as quickly and consistently on this big a stage and has looked as fabulous doing it. Mike Tyson, I hear, is a big fan.

Photo: Josh Hedges/Zuffa LLC/Getty Images

 

 She has captured that rare combination of beauty and talent that only a select few female athletes approach. Her closest analogue in the modern era is Serena Williams, a woman who own dominance has similarly pushed her to the top of her traditionally male dominated sport. Granted, Rousey doesn't have to deal with many of the racially motivated criticisms that Serena does but she has legitimately earned her spot among the UFC's and the sportsworld's elite.

Left to Right: Shafir, Rousey, Duke, Baszler Photo via mixedmartialarts.com

Her latest victim, Bethe Correia was undefeated before Saturday's bout, scoring decisive wins over 2 members of  Rousey's unofficial "4 Horsewomen" clique, Jessamyn Duke and Shayna Bazsler.  Correia wanted to make the fight personal, perhaps in an attempt to throw the champion off her game. By flashing the famous "4"  and lowering one finger after each victory, she clearly wanted to send a message.  Correia even crossed the line by commenting on Rousey's history with drug abuse and making light of her father's suicide. The message was received and judging by how quickly their fight ended, we can add "play mind games" to the list of things not to do if you want to beat her.

• Res.	Record	Opponent	Method	Event	Date	Round	Time	Location	Notes
  Win	12–0	Bethe Correia	KO (punch)	UFC 190	August 1, 2015	1	0:34	Rio de Janeiro, Brazil	Defended the UFC Women's Bantamweight Championship. Performance of the Night.
  Win	11–0	Cat Zingano	Submission (armbar)	UFC 184	February 28, 2015	1	0:14	Los Angeles, California, United States	Defended the UFC Women's Bantamweight Championship. Performance of the Night.
  Win	10–0	Alexis Davis	TKO (punches)	UFC 175	July 5, 2014	1	0:16	Las Vegas, Nevada, United States	Defended the UFC Women's Bantamweight Championship. Performance of the Night.
  Win	9–0	Sara McMann	TKO (knee to the body)	UFC 170	February 22, 2014	1	1:06	Las Vegas, Nevada, United States	Defended the UFC Women's Bantamweight Championship. Performance of the Night.
  Win	8–0	Miesha Tate	Submission (armbar)	UFC 168	December 28, 2013	3	0:58	Las Vegas, Nevada, United States	Defended the UFC Women's Bantamweight Championship. Submission of the Night. Fight of the Night.
  Win	7–0	Liz Carmouche	Submission (armbar)	UFC 157	February 23, 2013	1	4:49	Anaheim, California, United States	Defended the UFC Women's Bantamweight Championship.
  Win	6–0	Sarah Kaufman	Submission (armbar)	Strikeforce: Rousey vs. Kaufman	August 18, 2012	1	0:54	San Diego, California, United States	Defended the Strikeforce Women's Bantamweight Championship; Later promoted to UFC Women's Bantamweight Champion.
  Win	5–0	Miesha Tate	Submission (armbar)	Strikeforce: Tate vs. Rousey	March 3, 2012	1	4:27	Columbus, Ohio, United States	Bantamweight debut. Won the Strikeforce Women's Bantamweight Championship.
  Win	4–0	Julia Budd	Submission (armbar)	Strikeforce Challengers 20	November 18, 2011	1	0:39	Las Vegas, Nevada, United States
  Win	3–0	Sarah D'Alelio	Technical Submission (armbar)	Strikeforce Challengers 18	August 12, 2011	1	0:25	Las Vegas, Nevada, United States
  Win	2–0	Charmaine Tweet	Submission (armbar)	HKFC - School of Hard Knocks 12	June 17, 2011	1	0:49	Calgary, Alberta, Canada	Catchweight (150 lbs) bout.
  Win	1–0	Ediane Gomes	Submission (armbar)	KOTC - Turning Point	March 27, 2011	1	0:25	Tarzana, California, United States

  Amateur mixed martial arts record

  Professional record breakdown		[show]

  Res.	Record	Opponent	Method	Event	Date	Round	Time	Location	Notes
  Win	3–0	Taylor Stratford	Submission (armbar)	Tuff-N-Uff - Las Vegas vs. 10th Planet Riverside	January 7, 2011	1	0:24	Las Vegas, Nevada, United States
  Win	2–0	Autumn King	Submission (armbar)	Tuff-N-Uff - Future Stars of MMA	November 12, 2010	1	0:57	Las Vegas, Nevada, United States
  Win	1–0	Hayden Munoz	Submission (armbar)	CFL - Ground Zero	August 6, 2010	1	0:23	Oxnard, California, United States

  Ronda Rousey's MMA Record as of 8/1/2015 (Table via Wikipedia) 

Cris "Cyborg" Justino  Photo: Esther Lin

The truly amazing part of all this is that she has managed to do this without falling into the pitfalls that many star athletes struggle to avoid. She has not been in trouble with the law, and though she has admitted past drug use, she has been sober for over 5 years.  She seems at ease in front of the camera, showing no fear of the spotlight. She routinely says exactly what's on her mind, most recently calling out boxing's pound for pound king, Floyd Mayweather on his domestic violence issues. The only thing that can seemingly stop Ronda at this point is Ronda. Even she has wondered if she can physically keep up the pace at which she takes fights. She has admitted that she may burn herself out as she did when she competed in judo. So far, however, she has shown no signs of slowing down.  Her next fight will almost certainly be a 2nd rematch with Meisha Tate, who Rousey has already beaten twice by armbar submission.  At best Tate is a place holder while the much anticipated superfight with Invicta Women's Featheweight Champion Cris "Cyborg" Justino is worked on. 

Despite fears that the UFC will run out of quality opponents for her to face, her legend continues to grow.  Previously unknown female fighters from every corner of the sport will look to boost their visibility by challenging Rousey and her story has crossed into the mainstream.  My wife, who doesn't follow MMA at all not only knows who Ronda Rousey is but when she's fighting next.  She's a joy to watch and her journey has our attention whether you're a fight fan or not.  Women like this aren't common.  Athletes like this aren't common.  She's in her prime, at the top of her sport, and that doesn't seem likely to change anytime soon.  Fight like a girl, Ronda.  

Sandra Bland: Say Her Name

YouTube vid of her arrest 

Here we go again.  Hours after this was shot, Sandra Bland was "found dead" in her cell.  At this point I've lost track of the people we've had to bury because of police misconduct.  Sandra Bland and her family are the newest members of the club no one wants to join.  I can hear the peanut gallery now deriding me and others for jumping to conclusions, not waiting for the facts, or being anti-police.  Then, when that predictably fails to sway our opinion, they'll bring up some obscure case of either police brutality against a white man or mention the atrocities in Chicago as if they cared about the people beyond using it as an anti black talking point.  

Shut up.  I'm tired of you.  All of you who ignore proven patterns of bias, who shove respectability politics down everyone's throat, except when it's people who aren't black acting like savages.  This vibrant woman with a family who loved her and found her voice speaking out about the very thing she ended up being a victim of (#SandySpeaks) will never be able to call her sister's names again.  There is a family that has a hole that will never heal.  Too often we forget that these aren't just statistics on a page or a talking point to be trotted out at our leisure.  Sandra Bland had a family who loved her and will miss her more than any of us who only know her story 2nd hand.  I pray they have the financial means and the legal smarts to pressure this proven racist  of a sheriff to admit what happened in detail and hold those responsible accountable.  Especially because this isn't the first time someone has committed suicide in a Waller County jail cell.  The bottom line is the Waller County Sherriff's Dept., even at this early stage of the investigation, are either incompetent or complicit in Ms. Bland's death.  It's only a light wind right now, but if answers that make sense aren't forthcoming soon, this little rural town may soon have a Hurricane Sandy of its very own.

I'm Saying Her Name.  (#SayHerName). Stand with her family and say it with me.  

God DAMMIT Bill!

I'm a Cosby defender...or at least I was.  In light of the recent release of court documents that reveal he admitted to using drugs to rape women, I can no longer stand with him.  Celebrity sex scandals are nothing new but this is Bill Cosby.  Mr. Jello Pudding Pop.  Dr. Cliff Huxtable.  In an era in which so many black families were victimized by the crack epidemic and the subsequent "War on Drugs", Cosby offered us a vision of black family life that ABC thought was unrealistic but NBC took a chance on and changed the lives of millions of Americans.  I was too young to care about the politics at the time.  All I saw was the family life that I wished was mine.  A loving father, tons of siblings, an environment that supported their kid's dreams, and a sense of always being able to come home. It was the opposite of what I was living.  Being the only child of a single mother who was at work more than she was home it would have been easy for me to take a very different path.

1988 "Goals".

There are a lot of people who think that ending up on the wrong side of the law or stuck in poverty is wholly the result of bad choices.  Few of us are brave enough to think critically out of fear of diminishing our own sense of accomplishment.  We like to think of ourselves as the architects and masters of our destiny.  Anyone who hasn't achieved what we have must have taken a wrong turn somewhere because the road to the middle/upper middle class life is a clear and easy blueprint, right?  Go to school, get a good job, start a business, and become a productive member of society.  If we're being honest we would admit that's only a small part of the story. You don't choose your parents, skin color, the country you're born in,  your inheritance, nor the values you are taught as a child.  The economic status of your parents is often the defining factor of not just where you start, but where you ultimately end up.  There's a reason the success stories are called "exceptional."  If it happened all the time no one would give a shit.  Living in those circumstances limits what you think is possible for you.  If you're blessed enough to be born to parents of strong character, financial means, and intelligence, congratulations, the world is your oyster.  For the rest of us, the Cosby Show was our gateway to a life of possibilities.  Every Thursday Night from 8-9pm we got to live with the Huxtables and go to college at Hillman.  We got to watch people who looked like us, talked like us, and dressed like us enjoy a life of security, privilege, and hope.  I'm one of the blessed ones.  My mother found a way to get me out so I had a chance to make it my reality.  My best friend wasn't so lucky.  I credit Dr. Cosby with showing millions of kids like me what was possible.  That's why this means more to me than the usual Hollyweird carousel of sexual depravity.

Like many of us, I had trouble distinguishing Bill Cosby from Cliff Huxtable.  I enjoyed his work so much I went to great lengths mentally to rationalize the accusations against him as a witch hunt.

"They're just trying to tear down one of the icons of black respectability."
Bill Cosby has been a parody of the man we respected for a long time.  Anyone who's been paying attention also knows that respectability politics are joke.

"They're looking for a payout."
It's possible that some of these women are looking for a payout but why would they wait until he is at the nadir of his fame and influence?  The earliest accusation is from 1965.  That's bad economics for one gold digger, let alone 42.

You lying sack of....

"Hannibal Buress just wanted to further his career."
Everyone has skeletons in their closet, including Buress, but if Cosby's hadn't raped these women, Buress wouldn't have a leg to stand on.  There's something horribly wrong with a married man who has scores of groupies willing to sleep with him but chooses to drug unwilling participants instead.  Think about that.

"Why did they wait so long to tell?"
Some didn't.  This whole thing resurfaced because Hannibal Buress was referencing his accusers stories being suppressed when Cosby's fame was at its height.  If you knew no one would believe you why put yourself through that hell?

"But he's done so much for the community!"
This is probably the one I struggled with the most because of his impact on me.  We have a tendency to excuse the rich and powerful for bad behavior.  Cultural conditioning has drilled into our heads that poverty and success are a reflections of our moral compass and willingness to work.  If you're an adult working multiple jobs for minimum wage, shitty healthcare, and still struggle to put food on the table I'm sure  you don't waste any time calling that "bullshit."  Cosby is one of the few black men to benefit from this flawed logic.  True leaders realize that in order to lead they must be above reproach in all aspects of their lives.  Leadership very restrictive and takes a person truly dedicated to the big picture not to indulge in self gratification.

Clearly, Bill Cosby duped us all, wrapping himself up in the cloak respectability and decency while stealing those very things from his victims.  The hypocrisy and arrogance he had to criticize his brothers and sisters with the same logic that Fox News uses, in light of his own admission, disgusts me.  I can't possibly put myself into the position of a woman who's had to live with this for decades.  However, I know the level of rage I would feel if this happened to one of my sisters, my wife, or my daughter.  His victims have my sympathies and I hope this newest revelation brings them some measure of peace.  I can't understand how people continue to defend him...oh wait, never mind.  I guess sometimes we only see what we want to see.  My eyes are wide open now.


God. Dammit. Bill.

Who Cares About Father's Day?

I didn't grow up celebrating Father's Day.  If my life were a sitcom,  my father would be the recurring special guest star you don't see for 3 seasons then shows up for the season finale.  As a matter of fact, most of my life I thought Father's Day, Mother's Day, and Velentines Day were corporate holidays solely designed to get you to spend money. I know a lot of people who feel this way and I was right there with them.  My family changed my mind.

Thanks, Chris.  Bet you won't say this on Mothers Day, though.

"Why do you want props for something you're supposed to do anyway?" - the Peanut Gallery

Men are wired to need two things, appreciation and respect.  It's why men working a dead-end jobs and/or hear nothing but complaints from their lady at home feel like their soul is being crushed.  No one wants to put their heart and soul into something day in and day out for the only pay off to be criticism and indifference.  Sounds great in a stand up routine but real men need to know their efforts are appreciated. (Deadbeat dads and no-ambition workers, this is not for you.  Shhh.). 

"If you appreciate your [insert loved one here] every other day of the year why do you need a special day?"

Anything you do every single day becomes normal and routine.  People are people.  We get angry, say things we don't mean, get caught up in our own drama, and tend to forget to be nice to those we see and love the most.  It isn't possible to do something above and beyond every day.  

You already know...

We love our families.  We work hard to keep them safe, protected, clothed, and fed and there isn't a day we don't think about how to do better for them.  A special heartfelt thank you from the people we care about the most is worth more than any pair of Jordan's, any power tool set, any sports championship, any favorite car, or ...tie.  So to all my brothers standing in the gap...

We Get the Message

I refuse to call this a tragedy. Though it may fit the text book definition, using "tragedy" in this context would imply that this was something that was regrettable but couldn't be helped.  We all feel sad about tragedies. We make a couple of hashtags on social media to express our condolences, and then move on until the next #imsadforyou moment.  This is not one of those events.  This is a message. There is no ambiguity here.  There is no nuance.  There is no question that the motivation for this attack was racism and  people are sick and tired of it.

Dylan Roof's arraignment 6/19/15 (Photo: CNN)

Dylann Roof was born and raised in a state that still proudly flies the confederate flag at its state capital.  Its streets are named after confederate generals.  Even as the governor is shedding tears on a podium at the inhumanity of this crime, the building she goes to work in every day still proudly flies the very symbol of that hatred.  As a matter of fact, of the 3 flags that fly at the Capital Building, the American flag, the state flag of South Carolina, and the Confederate battle flag, only one of those isn't at half mast today (Friday 6/19/2015 1 day post massacre).  The excuse that the Governor has no control over the flag and that it has to pass through the General Assembly is a weak one.  Those who would argue that the Confederate flag is a symbol of your heritage, I'd like to ask you something.  What heritage are you celebrating?  The Confederate States of America didn't secede to defend the freedom of states rights.  They did it to defend the institution of slavery and the ideology that no black man should ever be equal to a white man.  They explicitly said so.  Conservative news outlets also refuse to call this a racist attack, choosing instead to attempt to call themselves the victims by call it an attack on faith.  It wasn't.  This was a terrorist attack meant to intimidate black people and start a race war.  Roof explicitly said so.    To deny these facts is disrespectful to the victims and dishonors their memories.  They died because they were black.

Undated photo of flags flying over the South Carolina Capitol Building in Charleston. (Image from The Grio)

 Color blindness allows us to pretend this was the work of one deranged individual.  We get to deflect  the idea that its representative of a culture that has built its base of wealth on the backs of cheap Black labor and still devalues Black lives.  You wonder why Black Americans don't feel part of the mainstream?  You wonder why Michelle Obama can say that the only time she felt proud to be an American was when her husband was elected President?  It's because there are certain groups that will never let you forget what you are and are working tirelessly to keep you in second class status.  They have no problems pulling the socioeconomic chair from under you and then blaming you for falling. They are people who see nothing wrong with the abuse of teenagers, the killing of children, and unarmed suspects but see black poverty as a moral failing.  It's the same cognitive dissonance that allows us to be OK with policies like "stop and frisk", watch police officers brutalize and kill people of color with impunity but claim we live in the freest country in the world.  I'm not even going to get into the 24 hr propaganda machine we call cable news.  We are not the only country guilty of barbarism toward a minority population nor are we the only country that has escaped sanctions by the UN for violations of Human Rights. However, we are the only country that hangs our national identity on our civil liberties and personal freedoms. We market ourselves to the world as the champions freedom, yet in one of our oldest states, a flag of terror still flies. It is blatant hypocrisy.  Real healing and reconciliation cannot happen until mainstream America fully admits to the problem it has with race and commits itself to a cultural change.  Anything less than that is window dressing.  

Rest in Peace.  The Lord has you now.  (Photo: The Grio)

There's not much more that can be said about the massacre in Charleston that hasn't been hashed, rehashed, minced, diced, chopped, cried over, raged about, or spun in the last 2 days.  The only thing I can offer as an everyday man is a reminder to stay focused, vigilant, and prepared.  Even the judge presiding over Dylan's arraignment pleaded for sympathy for his family instead of first acknowledging the victims representatives in the room.  The message Black America is receiving is loud and clear.  You don't matter.