God DAMMIT Bill!

I'm a Cosby defender...or at least I was.  In light of the recent release of court documents that reveal he admitted to using drugs to rape women, I can no longer stand with him.  Celebrity sex scandals are nothing new but this is Bill Cosby.  Mr. Jello Pudding Pop.  Dr. Cliff Huxtable.  In an era in which so many black families were victimized by the crack epidemic and the subsequent "War on Drugs", Cosby offered us a vision of black family life that ABC thought was unrealistic but NBC took a chance on and changed the lives of millions of Americans.  I was too young to care about the politics at the time.  All I saw was the family life that I wished was mine.  A loving father, tons of siblings, an environment that supported their kid's dreams, and a sense of always being able to come home. It was the opposite of what I was living.  Being the only child of a single mother who was at work more than she was home it would have been easy for me to take a very different path.

1988 "Goals".

There are a lot of people who think that ending up on the wrong side of the law or stuck in poverty is wholly the result of bad choices.  Few of us are brave enough to think critically out of fear of diminishing our own sense of accomplishment.  We like to think of ourselves as the architects and masters of our destiny.  Anyone who hasn't achieved what we have must have taken a wrong turn somewhere because the road to the middle/upper middle class life is a clear and easy blueprint, right?  Go to school, get a good job, start a business, and become a productive member of society.  If we're being honest we would admit that's only a small part of the story. You don't choose your parents, skin color, the country you're born in,  your inheritance, nor the values you are taught as a child.  The economic status of your parents is often the defining factor of not just where you start, but where you ultimately end up.  There's a reason the success stories are called "exceptional."  If it happened all the time no one would give a shit.  Living in those circumstances limits what you think is possible for you.  If you're blessed enough to be born to parents of strong character, financial means, and intelligence, congratulations, the world is your oyster.  For the rest of us, the Cosby Show was our gateway to a life of possibilities.  Every Thursday Night from 8-9pm we got to live with the Huxtables and go to college at Hillman.  We got to watch people who looked like us, talked like us, and dressed like us enjoy a life of security, privilege, and hope.  I'm one of the blessed ones.  My mother found a way to get me out so I had a chance to make it my reality.  My best friend wasn't so lucky.  I credit Dr. Cosby with showing millions of kids like me what was possible.  That's why this means more to me than the usual Hollyweird carousel of sexual depravity.

Like many of us, I had trouble distinguishing Bill Cosby from Cliff Huxtable.  I enjoyed his work so much I went to great lengths mentally to rationalize the accusations against him as a witch hunt.

"They're just trying to tear down one of the icons of black respectability."
Bill Cosby has been a parody of the man we respected for a long time.  Anyone who's been paying attention also knows that respectability politics are joke.

"They're looking for a payout."
It's possible that some of these women are looking for a payout but why would they wait until he is at the nadir of his fame and influence?  The earliest accusation is from 1965.  That's bad economics for one gold digger, let alone 42.

You lying sack of....

"Hannibal Buress just wanted to further his career."
Everyone has skeletons in their closet, including Buress, but if Cosby's hadn't raped these women, Buress wouldn't have a leg to stand on.  There's something horribly wrong with a married man who has scores of groupies willing to sleep with him but chooses to drug unwilling participants instead.  Think about that.

"Why did they wait so long to tell?"
Some didn't.  This whole thing resurfaced because Hannibal Buress was referencing his accusers stories being suppressed when Cosby's fame was at its height.  If you knew no one would believe you why put yourself through that hell?

"But he's done so much for the community!"
This is probably the one I struggled with the most because of his impact on me.  We have a tendency to excuse the rich and powerful for bad behavior.  Cultural conditioning has drilled into our heads that poverty and success are a reflections of our moral compass and willingness to work.  If you're an adult working multiple jobs for minimum wage, shitty healthcare, and still struggle to put food on the table I'm sure  you don't waste any time calling that "bullshit."  Cosby is one of the few black men to benefit from this flawed logic.  True leaders realize that in order to lead they must be above reproach in all aspects of their lives.  Leadership very restrictive and takes a person truly dedicated to the big picture not to indulge in self gratification.

Clearly, Bill Cosby duped us all, wrapping himself up in the cloak respectability and decency while stealing those very things from his victims.  The hypocrisy and arrogance he had to criticize his brothers and sisters with the same logic that Fox News uses, in light of his own admission, disgusts me.  I can't possibly put myself into the position of a woman who's had to live with this for decades.  However, I know the level of rage I would feel if this happened to one of my sisters, my wife, or my daughter.  His victims have my sympathies and I hope this newest revelation brings them some measure of peace.  I can't understand how people continue to defend him...oh wait, never mind.  I guess sometimes we only see what we want to see.  My eyes are wide open now.


God. Dammit. Bill.